Monday, 18 June 2007

Secrets and Lies

Two days before Father’s Day, my daughter handed me the card she had made for me at nursery.



“Shhh! It’s a secret.” She said, putting her finger to her lips. “I can’t tell anyone about it.”

“Oh…”

“And I can’t tell you about it.”

“Really…”

“And you can’t tell anyone about it. Not even yourself.”

What is a lie if not the big brother of the secret? My daughter is just as poor at both. I ask her if she has eaten all her fruit at nursery. “Er, no daddy.” She says.

“What did you do with it?”

“I threw it in the bin” she admits, a little shamefaced.

I grin and tousle her hair, feeling the lack of a fib is far more important than the actual deed.

I can see the temptation to lie emerging though. Three and a half years without one is a long time. More than I’ve managed. This morning when I saw the buttery toast my wife had made for her sitting on the plate-with-piggies-on-it, I asked “Did you lick off all the jam?” She hesitated and then confirmed that was the case; but I could have sworn I’d seen her first blush. Or perhaps it was just the strawberry.

38 comments:

Gwen said...

I used to tell lies when I was little and my mum saw through them all the time. In my current job I have to tell little white lies all the time, but I don't think people see through them. By little and white I mean that they tend to be told to protect people from bigger blacker horrors.

Stay at home dad said...

Yes I'm pretty sure I used to too. That sounds like some scary work. Medicine? Education? Endowment plan advisor?

Iota said...

Judging by the great picture she has done of you (I assume that's her work, in the picture), she sees evidence of strawberry jam on your face too.

Gwen said...

Actually no. I'm just a humble PA working for a succession of small to medium sized businesses (at the moment it's an Architects) but due to some current big black horrors of the financial kind which I have been advised to keep from the rest of the staff, I will be off to pastures new very soon. Horrors lurk in most companies sadly.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

She sounds fab! And what good art, it's true then, you really are hairy.

I once stuck my tongue out at my Mum in the bathroom, alas, she saw me in the mirror, 'did you just stick your tongue out at me?' 'No, I was sticking it out at the sink'. A poor attempt I feel, I have honed my lying skills since then.

Pigx

Suffolkmum said...

Great picture. My girl is deeply impressed, if a little confused, about secrets too. Good to catch up with your blog. Am horribly behind with blog world, as ever.

Stay at home dad said...

Iota - lol. No, apparently it's a tattoo!

Oh dear Gwen. What a worry. But I agree, although, I was generally the horror lurking...

Pig, fab both in nature and lolly choice. Yes, a very poor effort! but most amusing nonetheless...

Stay at home dad said...

I think so Suffolk Mum; she's really captured me. Secrets are rather interesting and in many cases difficult.

As discussed on Beta Mum's blog, it's a little like catching up with the Sunday Papers...

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Great picture. I can really see the resemblance. I think I have one just like it lurking around. Cherish these days, because they do learn how to lie eventually (though my daughter's eyes give it away all the time).

Stay at home dad said...

I didn't picture you with a beard, Wakeup... Yes, even with adults the eyes give it away

carrie said...

Off to make some buttery toast with strawberry jam on it!!! Yum!

Carrie

Stay at home dad said...

Enough of your lies Carrie!

Omega Mum said...

It's her comment about not being able to tell anyone - not even yourself - that strikes home. Unfortunately, it tends to be something we all get rather good at later on. And perhaps those are the biggest lies of all.......

The Good Woman said...

You do capture moments SAHD. Very precious moments.

Alas, Bambi already lies but usually announces she has done so soon after. I just can't keep a straight face and fear I may be inadvertantly rewarding her subterfuge.

Natural Blonde said...

Tatto? I thought you'd banged your head!

Stay at home dad said...

I couldn't believe she actually said that, OM. What is the thought process?

Lying is mainly an archetypal embarrassment thing I imagine...

Stay at home dad said...

TGW, by documenting these things I find I am in fact appreciating them more. I guess this is what photographers feel like.

Poor guilty Bambi!

Natural Blonde, she said tatto, I'm wondering if it isn't just skin colouring abandoned at an early stage.

lady macleod said...

too adorable, too adorable, too adorable....I'm still smiling! That's the best bedtime story I've had since Ocean's Thirteen.

debio said...

i hate secrets because they invariably lead to lies. I do, however, enjoy watching commentators etc, on TV, cos my daughter and I work out whether they are lying from the body language....

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Amy's just discovered 'fibs'. Her autism has meant her being a bit behind but sometimes I have to turn my back so as not to laugh and encourage it.

Stay at home dad said...

Thank you, your ladyship. Are you saying I look like George Clooney/Brad Pitt/Matt Damon?

Yes Debio, I was watching that new lying quiz on the BBC, which I guess you won't have seen. But it's easy to get 8 out of ten. Would be more difficult on the radio.

I can imagine! It takes an awful lot of work for a youngster, doesn't it. Lies are in fact more difficult.

Elsie Button said...

what a sweet picture. love your tattoo!

i remember when i was teaching a reception class last year - i caught a little girl drawing all over her boots with a biro - i went over to her and said 'Jessica why have you just drawn on your boots?' to which she looked me straight in the eye, with a completely straight/serious face and said 'it wasn't me, it was Katie' - Katie is her baby sister, who at the time was 2 days old!

Stay at home dad said...

I'm rather proud of it Elsie... Lol. It is also a test of the imagination isn't it..

Dee said...

Parents know everything. She will figure that out hopefully before me ;) I still thought I could outsmart my mom as a teenager - and oh was I wrong.

Thank you for sharing those little episodes with us SAHD, they are lovely!

DJ Kirkby said...

She sounds adorable! Number 3 son has learned how to lie, badly, but lying all the same...sigh. He is going to wear a smooth spot onto the time out step with the number of times he goes on there at the moment.

Stay at home dad said...

Thank you Dee. Yes, we know everything now... but decreasingly so...

Well I'm a fan, DJK! I think the key there is #3. He must have so much tuition...

SAHD said...

I overheard 'just-turned-four' asking Mrs.SAHD whether he could have a sweetie. Mrs.SAHD said,

"Darling you haven't finished your breakfast, go and ask daddy."

Little prince came into the kitchen and said,

"Dad, can I have a sweetie?"

I said,

"No darling you have to finish your porridge first and then we'll see..."

Little prince ran out of the kitchen, ran upstairs and shouted to Mrs.SAHD,

"Dad said yes!"

I guess this proves the rule about kids and lying. I have advised him to speak more quietly.

www.stayathomedad.typepad.com

Stay at home dad said...

Thing is, I suppose you did say yes sahd, albeit with conditions...

Certainly not stupid though these four year olds..

SAHD said...

Yep - you got me !

I haribou cola bottle later and little prince is tamed...

Stay at home dad said...

Childcare: where no means yes...

Drunk Mummy said...

My, you are hairy! But you have a very nice smile. Your lack of nose makes me think this drawing could be a prototype for a new Bratz Dadz doll.

Jan said...

"Big brother of the secret"....
There's a title for a novel somewhere in that..
I remember wondering for years WHAT a white lie was...

Stay at home dad said...

Don't let the smile fool you, DM. I'm not one of life's smilers...

You're right Jan. I'm not sure I know what a white lie is either, even now...

creative-type dad said...

I love kid art. I want that picture on a T-shirt.

Bel said...

It's the big grin that gets me every time. Who can reprimand a child that's obvisouly having so much fun?
I'm afraid I'm encouraging my son to "charm" the ladies into his bed when he grows up...

Bel

Stay at home dad said...

I'm with you on that, Creative-type dad. It's fascinating. My daughter apologized for not giving me any arms on this one...

Charm is good Bel. Not so much need to lie then...!

Snuffleupagus said...

That card is so fab!

Stay at home dad said...

Yes, it's a classic, isn't it!