Thursday, 31 May 2007

Morning Glory

“DaDDYYYYY!!” comes the cry. “What IS it?” I ask grumpily. It’s not early, but it is morning.

I continue trudging upstairs with the pink-cup-with-cats –on-it full of milk and turn left into the living-room.

“Daddy. Look!” exclaims my daughter, surprisingly brightly, considering there is vomit on the sofa, vomit on the floor and vomit all over her and her nightie. It looks like an ectoplasmic explosion.

“Oh poor you…” I stammer. I fall to my knees and open my arms, but then think better of it.

I go and fetch the kitchen roll. (Douglas Adams was wrong: the most useful item in the universe is a roll of recycled kitchen paper.) I wipe up the semi-digested grapes and pasta, pull her nightie over her head and then put her in the bath as I used to do when she was a milk regurgitator. After she is washed and dressed I finish up the cleaning process, using a fork to dig out all the lumps from the weave of the sofa, and plenty of wet cloth arm-work. It is somehow reassuring to return to the simple days of babycare.

Later my wife emails me: Thanks for cleaning everything up. You are a true stay at home dad!

That’s nice: recognition. That’ll keep me going for a while. I may be two years into the job, but somehow I feel that it’s only now I’m passing my probation

My daughter sits on the dry end of the sofa, watching Big Cook Little Cook with a look of mild disgust. She refuses my optimistic offer of breakfast, but sips the water I have given her.

She complains that she still has a tummy ache. I reach over and rub her stomach solicitously, gladly wiping away the hurt. She shifts a little. “Is the rubbing making it better?” I ask. She looks uncomfortable, and after a pause replies “No daddy”.

It used to be that the tummy rubbing made her feel better; now it seems mainly to be for my benefit.

27 comments:

beta mum said...

Ugh sick - my most hated apect of small child care. They get better at getting to the loo in time as they get older.
Tummy rubbing is nice to do, but think about it, if you'd just been sick, would you want someone touching your tummy?
She's just got old enough to tell it to you like it is!

Suffolkmum said...

Poor soul - my girl has just had it too. I alwyas get her cleaned up, then out it comes again. Joy of joys. I always do the manic tummy rubbing too. Enjoyed your one about Hay below - I've ever been. You never know, people may be queuing to see you one day.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

It's really weird that they are so bouncy after puking up...mine are almost elated. I always direct them to the bath on the premise that it's so big even they can't miss. They rarely miss but I then have to either pick all the bits out of the plughole or squish them through. So revolting.

I always try and rub their tummies and they always tell me not to. I'm sure my Mum used to rub my tummy and it was nice...kids of today, tsk.
Hope she's feeling better, was it just a one-chunder wonder?
Pigx

Stay at home dad said...

Yes Beta Mum, she doesn't connect the loo and being sick at the moment. And somehow I don't expect her to. Yet, the tummy rubbing doesn't work either. It's an in-between time...

Stay at home dad said...

SM, Pig - it was just a one-off in this case and she was back to normal pretty much straight away. Yes, the public awaits my modern classic on bath-puking.

DJ Kirkby said...

Oh. My. God! Yech... Number 3 son is more prone to getting colds, tonsilitis, etc. He hasn't puked for a couple of years. Damnit...now I've gone and said it he'll probably wake up swimming in it! Glad she (and you) didn't have to suffer through a repeat performance. Loved your comment about anal retention on my blog, made us laugh, thanks!

Stay at home dad said...

Swimming in puke - great image...

I'm an Englishman: I know about anal retention.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Just what you need first thing in the morning. At least you knew it couldn't get any worse (or could it). When mine get the stomach bugs I follow them around with a bin bag.

Elsie Button said...

simple days of babycare? i thought it was supposed to get easier. i wonder if i will miss these days of CONSTANTLY wiping sick off myself/betty/the house/car/husand...

Stay at home dad said...

Hello Wake up... Bin bags - love it!

When I say simple, Elsie, I only mean you know exactly what you will be doing. Every. Single. Day.

@themill said...

Just wait until the teenage years - you'll look back on this puking so fondly!

@themill said...

Forgot to say, a warm hot water bottle is quite soothing.

mutterings and meanderings said...

I don't have kids, but my two cats do it, so I can emphasise.... ;)

Stay at home dad said...

@TM, I look back fondly on everything!


M&M - look disgusting but they're glad to get the furballs out, cats, aren't they....

Brom said...

One of the Bromites often complains of tummy pains. We recognise the symptoms and a quick rub usually results in a surprisingly loud emission for one so small.

DJ Kirkby said...

Com'mon @TM, don't try to lull them into a false sense of security! The teena ge years (esp the later years after they discover boozy night out) bring on a whole new realm of puking!Sigh...

Omega Mum said...

My tip is to scrape everything off with an old spoon and put it into a double-layered liner.

Jan said...

When "mine" were That Age, we also had a ballet student and 2 Law students living with us; this was years ago.
One evening, the WHOLE household was ill...I was actually washing sheets in "sick" sucsession( Hmm, sorry, I meant " quick")throughout the night..
BUT seriously, you DO miss them when they're gone...

Snuffleupagus said...

Am totally impressed. I don't know how you parents do it! Well done!

carrie said...

Been there, done that.

Hope your daughter is feeling better, and the carpet is back to normal.

Carrie

The Good Woman said...

jhklHmmm ... a Dad who cleans up puke. What a novel idea. Excuse me - must go have a chat with Bambi's dad...

Stay at home dad said...

Hello Brom. As long as it's a dry emission...

Yes, DJK, we've all presented our parents with that particular adolescent gift haven't we!

Yes, that would work. I should have done that when she was younger. I still find milky puke drops around the place.

Jan. Now that is a production line.

Snuffs, I think I may have actually done worse for a drunk friend once!

Hello and thank you Carrie. Actually the floor is wooden, so that was something.

TGW. Ha ha!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Kids! Don't ya just luv 'em.
My daughter loves being sick, she makes a really big thing of it then just like most kids, is on a high, wanting to eat everything in site. And she too ends up with a glass of water. You sound like you're doing a pretty good job to me. Crystal x

The Secretary said...

I don't do sick. Anything else but not sick. If your are sick in my house you clean it up yourself. If I see sick it makes me sick - end of.

Stay at home dad said...

CJ - I don't think I cleaned up the sofa well enough. There is a kind of pukey smell when you sit on it now...

Sec - What else is there? No, don't answer that.

Andres Carl Sena said...

keep rubbing, it will work again some day.

Stay at home dad said...

ACS - thank you , I like that...